Mindful or passive? Who are you right now?
Do you ever feel guilty when you see a message and choose not to reply because you're busy doing some important work?
You’re not alone.
Back in the days, our inquiries were answered by phone calls and did close to no texting, which made life much easier.
Our brains were more capable of remembering lists and communication that had to be done on call. Now the situation has turned into texting people the second we want to know what time the webinar is, or when the assignment is starting, or scheduling calls. We need not retain any information in our heads. Have a question? Shoot a text. Any document to be sent? Text it. Didn’t talk to your friend for a long time? Text a “Hey, what's up?”.Everyone is available at the drop of a text. That is how available we have made ourselves to others.
And I am not saying that text messaging apps haven't created so many opportunities for us to interact with more people, or that it flourished for the wrong reasons. You would certainly want to chat with many people at once and save time. It has been a boon for people like me, especially when it comes to interacting more people. Believe me, if it weren't for these apps, I would have never connected with so many people at all.Talking to a stranger in public was like fighting a war with my head first.I made a lot of friends by texting them. Slowly I felt more comfortable talking to them and got the courage to make a phone call!
Three social interaction zones have been created just like the three zones we have in real-life interactions-acquaintances, friends, and close friends and family.
We have begun to talk to acquaintances on text, email, or LinkedIn, friends on Whatsapp, and close friends and family on call.
This way we can set boundaries for all interactions and have good opportunities to connect with someone directly.
Although,we forget to see the flip side of the coin.
In reference to a documentary about social media platforms “ The Social Dilemma” on Netflix where a quote says,” There are only two industries that call their customers ‘users’: illegal drugs and software.” So yes,we are all addicted to software, and it’s no different from alcohol,drugs ,or any other addiction.
Our life revolves around waiting for a reply, checking apps, again and again, obsessively feeling the need to “use” the apps, bringing our brains processing power to a minimum. It is really an autopilot mode that takes over the brain all the time, and we don't realize it. Sort of like being hypnotized.
We are not aware of that kick of dopamine we get when a text message pops up on our phone, and just respond to it within seconds. Sometimes you will wonder how you were going to the kitchen to drink water and ended up scrolling on the phone! We are pretty funny creatures, aren’t we? Ironic, with us being way more evolved than all the other organisms that exist in this world. First creating our own problems, then finding solutions.
Here are some solutions that may work for you. Again, different solutions work for different people. See what is suitable for you.
- The next time you open your phone, go to settings turn off all drop-down app notifications ( except for important ones)
- Unsubscribe from unnecessary mailing lists that you haven't signed up for. (proactively doing this prevents your inbox from cluttering up!)
- Try to write things more than typing on your phone. Buy nice Post-its, or sticky notes, notepads, colored pens, and keep them ready at your desk or table, wherever you can see them.
- Also, maintain a journal or diary. Write anything you find interesting rather than texting it to someone. This is gonna take some time but totally worth it.
- If you feel you cannot stop using social media or even shopping apps (yes, I said shopping apps), install an app like Forest or Pomodoro, which keeps track of your phone use and helps you disconnect from the internet and distraction for some time. When you get back to using your phone, you will be more aware of how much you use your phone.
- And of course, when someone texts you while you are busy, you don't have to feel obligated to reply to them. You arent their customer care center, that you need to reply to them that instant. It can wait, they can wait. Feel obligated instead to do what's important for you, you'll thank yourself later.
7.Most importantly, if you are feeling anxious or depressed and not able to cope, please take mental health support from a professional. It is not a shame, just another way to keep you healthy help yourself, and prevent the situation from getting worse. I am speaking from experience.
8.Following mental health pages on social media is NOT equal to therapy, they give very very generalized advice, mostly self-care tips and pages of general advice. You need something personalized, like talking to a real person, in person or online, and get a solution based on your circumstances. Even group therapy sessions are very helpful.
The motive behind writing this article was to encourage me, and to help you too!
That’s all I got for now, if you want me to write about anything else, feel free to put your suggestions in the comments!
-Shruti Singhal
